Happy Drunken Birthday
by Unparalleled Aspect
Summary: It's Natsu's birthday, and what better way to celebrate it with some booze? Who knows, maybe the party will be livened up if given to the right hands...


It was a rather plain day, but Natsu was buzzing around like a bee. It was his birthday! His friends were all busy today though. Gray and Gajeel had work at the mechanics while Erza and Juvia had volunteered at the senior center nearby. Lucy and Levy were working at the library.

Thinking he could visit them, Natsu thoughtlessly walked to the library. It was eerily quiet in his opinion, but he never was good with places like libraries. He preferred loud places filled with laughter and fun. Opening the door, he made his way to the counter where Levy was helping a family check out about 5 books.

"Come by soon!" Levy cheerfully waved goodbye. She then turned her attention to Natsu. "Here to check out a book for once?"

" Nah. Where's Lucy?" He looked around. "Is she putting the books back or something?"

"It's her break. I don't know where she is though. If I see her, I'll tell her you were looking for her, unless you're leaving?"

"Yeah, I'll go meet Gray. See ya."

"Bye! Happy birthday, by the way!"

"Thanks." He grinned as he left the building. When he got to the shop, he saw Gray and Gajeel sitting on folding chairs and in the middle of a conversation. Gray looked up and saw him coming towards them.

"So the birthday boy got so lonely he decided to come to us for company. What're you doing here? Lucy's working in the library you know."

"I just went there. Levy says she's on break." Natsu pulled a chair out and sat down.

"Well, it's lunch hour. Completely normal." Gajeel yawned. "But man, there aren't a lot of customers today."

"Saves energy." Gray smirked, "we still get money though."

"True."

"You guys are so lazy." Natsu leaned back and stretched.

"You were lazy back then too. Lucy just changed your ways." Gray pointed out. "The power of studious girlfriends."

"Shrimp's like that too." Gajeel said. "But I'm not losing to her. I'm still as lazy as ever." He smiled triumphantly. _Is that a good thing?_ Natsu thought.

"What about Juvia?"

"I'm lazy, but my grades are fine. Unlike you two, I don't need to take supplementary classes. She doesn't nag me about that stuff."

"Eh? Lucky." Natsu pouted.

"She doesn't nag me about grades, but everything else. _Do I look good in this? Is my hair presentable? Do you love me? Gray~ kiss me._ That stuff." They looked at him sympathetically.

"Suddenly I'm glad I have a girlfriend like Lucy. She's not that frantic about her appearance and our relationship."

"Same. Sucks for you, bro."

"Stop rubbing it in." Gray grumbled as a car drove inside the shop. "Well, here's a customer. If you want you can stay and watch or you can visit Juvia at the senior center."

"I'll go there." Natsu rose from his seat. "Bye."

"See you, Salamander."

"Don't make Erza angry while you're there."

"I'll try." Natsu shivered.

The senior center was pretty close. Everyone there was kind and patient. Natsu was really glad for this, because his antics, although meant without any ill will, was always making the adults angry. The people there always laughed however.

"Oh, Natsu. How are you doing, lad?" A small thin man greeted him as he entered the building.

"I'm doing great. How are you?" He replied honestly.

"I'm doing fine. I heard it's your birthday. Happy birthday, son."

"Thanks. Do you know where Erza is?"

"Ah, Erza? She's having tea with the ladies in the back. Juvia is there too."

"Thank you." Natsu took a step forward before turning around and saying goodbye to the man.

"Bring Lucy here next time too. I love the stories she writes."

"Will do." He said before searching for the girls. When he found them, the women were giggling and whispering. Typical. What wasn't of the norm was the look he was getting from them.

"How sweet of you. My, if my friends did something like that, I'd be the happiest person alive." One lady sighed dreamily.

"Quiet now." Another reprimanded.

"Ah yes, sorry."

"Hey there." Natsu said, curious of what they were talking about. "What were you talking about?"

"Nothing special," Erza poured another cup of tea for the table. Natsu looked at her skeptically.

"A secret between women, so please don't pry any further." Juvia said with a finger on her lips.

"Alright then." He answered.

"Natsu, play the guitar for us please."

"Oh, yes. I love the tunes you play."

"I don't have my-" Natsu tried to say, but he was interrupted mid sentence.

"There's a guitar in the next room. Yajima tuned it earlier for us."

"Okay..." He trailed off. They were being awfully pushy today. Natsu may be considered dumb, but even he knew they were trying to get him to stop thinking about their secret. _I really want to know_ , he whined inside his head as he absentmindedly strummed the guitar.

Before he knew it, time flew and it was now 6 o'clock. He had tried to get an answer from them multiple times to no avail, and all he could think of now was how hungry he was.

"Why are you guys following me home?" He glared at the girls. They looked at him questioningly.

"What are you talking about? You invited us over for your birthday." Juvia reminded him.

"Huh? When?"

"A week ago. You were so happy when you invited us over, I think our reply never made it to your head." Erza said.

* * *

"My birthday's next week!"

"We know, you've been counting down for us ever since the month's started." Gajeel grunted.

"He wouldn't shut up at all." Gray groaned. "He kept texting me every hour. 'My birthday's 240 hours away!'"

"It's his birthday month, of course he'd be excited." Levy tried to say neutrally, but even her tone held irritation.

"Come over to my place on my birthday!"

"I guess we have to at this point." Juvia sighed.

"Parties mean food, think of that." Erza spoke while fantasizing of her favorite cake. Natsu continued to jump around the room.

"Come over! We'll have food! Cake, we'll have cake!"

"Alright, we'll go. Calm down for goodness sakes." Lucy replied to his answer, but Natsu didn't seem to hear her.

"My birthday, my birthday! My birthday's next week!

* * *

"Oh yeah..." Natsu recalled. "Guess I was super annoying."

"The weird thing is that, although it's your birthday today, you don't have as much energy as you did before it." Juvia said, perplexed.

"I guess now that I realize it's today, the countdown excitement just disappeared." Natsu shook his head. "But I don't have anything prepared or anything."

"Are you kidding me..."

"Let's just meet with the others and think of what to do then." Erza suggested.

The walk back home was awkward. Silence lingered and the only sound that was heard were the trudging of boots and scuffling of pebbles being kicked around. It was unbearable. Suffocating to say the least.

"Say," Natsu started. "At least tell me what you guys were talking about during tea time."

"It's a secret. You'll seen it soon anyway." Juvia muttered the last part, although she knew Natsu could hear it perfectly fine.

"When?"

"Soon." Erza repeated vaguely. Natsu's house came to view. It was dark when he opened the door.

"I thought everyone was supposed to-" suddenly confetti rained from nowhere and music started playing. "What the-"

"Happy Birthday!" The combined voices from his friends surprised him. The lights turned on and he looked around.

Gajeel and Gray (thankfully), had cleaned up before coming to the house and each held confetti poppers. Lucy had a grin on her face and held a chocolate cake for show. Levy held a strawberry cake up high in her hands. Each had a party hat on their heads.

"Hey Erza, what's-" Natsu stopped mid sentence. Erza had a glazed look on her face as she eyed the strawberry cake. He turned to Juvia instead.

"Surprise. We knew you would forget to prepare something, so Lucy came in and prepared everything when you left the house."

"So the surprise-"

"It's the party."

"She wasn't at the-"

"She was here the whole time."

"We're glad you're so dense." Gray joked, earning a glare from the birthday boy and a chuckle from everyone else.

"We prepared dinner, but judging from your expression, you want to eat the cakes now." Levy deduced. Natsu nodded excitedly.

Gajeel dimmed the lights and only then in the dark room and with the single light source from the candle on the cake did Natsu realize the music in the background was playing of happy birthday.

"Hey, sing for me." Silence. "Come on, sing for me!" No one made a move. "Sing for me!" It took some time for his friends to start singing. They had started at a different time from the background music, and Natsu decided to tell them. "Even the music sings better than you guys."

"Music can't really sing, can it?" Lucy told him. Everyone else kept staring at the cakes.

"So... Are we just gonna keep staring it at it or...?" Juvia trailed off.

"Ah, I'll cut it!" Erza offered enthusiastically. Everyone paled. Taking the knife, she readily raised it and was just about to cut it when everyone leapt onto her.

"Erza, you absolutely cannot cut the cakes." Gajeel said.

"What are you talking about?"

"On Levy's birthday, you swung the knife into the cake and cut the table into two." Lucy reasoned.

"That was one time."

"At Juvia's party, you somehow brought a sword and got not just the table, but the surrounding furniture destroyed!" Gray said, frantically trying to get the knife out of her hands.

"Accidents happen." Erza replied like it was no big deal.

"Cana's party was ruined when you saw the strawberry cake and almost cut her head off when she was just about to blow out the candle." Levy managed to use her small stature and sneakily snatched the knife from the struggling redhead.

"Speaking of Cana, I got some beer from her." Erza stopped and took out a large amount of bottles from a seemingly tiny purse.

"How in the world is that some?" Natsu gawked at her. "And in case you haven't noticed, not everyone is of age."

"A little is fine."

"You girls are terrible drunks."

"Then I'll just drink it."

"All of it?!" Gray asked exasperatedly.

"You better save some cake for me though." Erza chugged a bottle.

"Please no..."

* * *

"She actually drank all of it." Lucy trailed off.

"She barely ate too. Natsu ate almost everything." Juvia sighed.

"Is she drunk? She's not responding to the Gajeel." Levy pointed to the two.

"Let's hope she's passed out." Just as Gray finished his sentence, Erza's head snapped in their direction. Her piercing stare spooked them.

"Sober Erza is scary enough, Drunk Erza is worse!" Natsu whined.

"Give me more wine." She ordered. "Now!"

"Hell no! You're super dru-" Gray got hit by a bottle.

"Shut up, Gray." She said menacingly. "Drink with me and get a refill while you're at it." When no one responded, she yelled. "Get me a refill!"

"I'm not regulating her intake," he muttered, only to get hit with another bottle.

"No talking back!" She took the knife from the table and began swinging it around wildly.

"Natsu! I'm using your room upstairs!" Lucy ran up the stairs dragging Levy with her to safety. Juvia followed with Gajeel skipping steps 3 at a time.  
"W-wait!" Natsu panicked and scrambled to his room before locking the door and barricading the door.

Gasping for breath and sweating, Gajeel managed to sputter out, "everyone here?"

"Yeah, everyone's- Hey, wait. Don't you think we're missing someone?" Natsu replied. They looked around the room. "I think we left-"

"UWAAAAAH! Stay back! Don't come any closer!" A crash was heard.

"Shut up! Where's my refill?" Another crash.

"There's no more left!" Gray replied.

"My furniture," Natsu sobbed.

"Cake, your cake's on the table!" Gray tried to persuade Erza to no avail.

"I want more drinks!"

"We have no more!"

"Juvia, how did you forget about Gray?" Lucy asked.

"Even I would leave my beloved behind if it means I can avoid Erza's drunken wrath."

"How unexpectedly cold of you." Glass was shattered and yells of pain resounded the building.

"Damn you guys! Some friends you are!"

"Shut up!"

"HELP MEEEE!"


End file.
